The life of a rooster

Help Me Ubi-Won, Your’re My Only Hope

When we last left our heroes, we were off to our first experience in the formal dining hall expecting joke telling waiters with accents, mixed company at our tables, and loads of good food. One of three ain’t bad - thankfully it was the food.
We arrived at the dining hall for the 545 seating (main seating for dinner) and were promptly brought 10 feet to our table…for two. Okay - we are dining alone. Part of the lure of cruising is the formal dining experience - world class cuisine nightly, dressing up for formal pictures and meals, the fun waiters, and mostly meeting new people that you slowly get to know over course of a week and share stories with.
Our waiter was polite, but no magic shows or jokes. And now we are seated alone, under the spiraling stairway with a sign posted saying “Watch Your Head!”. No one to visit with, get to know, etc.
Yes, this can be a blessing, but it is just weird. And we were not the only ones. Entering the dining room, we noticed an elderly couple being led to

their table for two. The lady started griping out loud

- “Oh no! Sitting us here alone and out of the way!!?? No way, this will NOT do!”
Jule and I just accepted our fate. So dinner was okay - I guess we’ll get more time in together this way. The food was excellent! I cannot even remember what I had except the main course was a Indian curry plate. Yum.
Here is the kicker of it all…our assistant waiter is named Ubiwon - no kidding. Ubiwon comes from Thailand…which sounds like Tattooine. Ubiwon was skilled with the water jug, but she was not a waiter just yet. Much to learn she has.
So our assistant waitor is Ubiwon - Obiwon’s long lost female cousin. Alyssa got squirmy at dinner, so we finished up and made our way to our next two activities. Jule was taking Alyssa to a Camp Carnival orientation while I was seeking out $500 from the Hold ‘Em tourney. Then things turned odd.
I made my way to the casino expecting to sit in on a low stakes card game. After a few moments, the cashier finally understood that I wanted to pay to enter the tournament and then made me wait in another line as person after person stepped forward and was entered into the game. Finally I got my entry card and walked over to the poker room - consisting of two 10 player tables with VIDEO screens! HUH!?!?!
Believe me, I was not the only person puzzled. So instead of a live poker game, we all were seated at a terminal to play interactively. There are a few problems with this - one, we all signed up for a live poker game. Two, you could easily see other players’ terminals, and thus their “cards”. Lastly, who was to supervise this “honest” activity?? Nonetheless, I was edged out of the first table and took a seat with 3 others at the second table. There we waited while the first table’s game got started. In the next 15 minutes another 2-3 people joined, yet no game. Another 10 minutes and we were at 8 total, but still no game. Finally we flagged down the casino host and she informed us that they needed 2 more before they could let us play. So were we to wait all night for two others to join?? Where specifically did it say 10 players had to play? Where are the cards?? After some heated debate from my table mates, she finally admitted that if we wanted, we could “quit” and get our money back - without flinching half of our table bolted, but I wasn’t giving in that easily. Why? Well, the buy-in was $25, but they charged a small processing fee to buy your “card” which I no longer need. As expected, when I went to the cashier to get my refund, they refunded the $25, but not the processing fee! WhatThe? This bird ain’t gonna fly. So I tracked down another casino host and told him my gripe. He tried to justify/explain their madness, but ultimately agreed to refund my processing fee. Somewhat steamed, I booked out of there to find Jule and Alyssa hopefully enjoying the kids program orientation.
Meanwhile…Jule and Alyssa found the kid’s camp orientation and were having a blast. They had the kids dancing and singing and all the while showing the parents what activities they would be doing. All was going well until some dumb lady came walking in and asked to sit next to the ladies. Jule abliged only to have the lady sit ON Alyssa instead of the vacant chair. She sat ON Alyssa who immediately began to scream and cry. Jule apparently went into defensive mom mode, scooped Alyssa out from under the hag and began scolding the lady who claimed to sit on no one. Then the peanut gallery jumped in (those around Jule who also watched in horror) to Alyssa’s defense to scold the lady, but the damage had been done. Alyssa was screaming that her leg, foot, and back hurt (the lady sat ON HER) and Jule had to rush her out of the auditorium so as not to disturb the assembly and to obviously check on Alyssa. Thankfully a few of the Camp Carnival crew were waiting outside to answer questions and stepped in to help. Collectively they calmed Alyssa down who at this point was as much fuming as she was scared. She kept saying “Mean lady sat on me! Mean lady TOOK MY SEAT!!” So Jule was able to only collect the basic facts of the program before returning Alyssa to the sanctuary of our rooms. At this point, I was headed to the very place she was leaving not knowing that my 2 ½ year old daughter was about to get medieval on some lady’s arse.
So we mellowed out in our rooms for a bit. Alyssa watched some cartoons while we pondered activities for the evening. Perusing the many options, we decided on Name That TV Theme Song game show followed by Bingo - activities that Alyssa could be involved with to a degree. She enjoyed the TV Theme Song show since we could spread out a bit and she could dance and hop around without bothering anyone. Once it was near Bingo time, however, that theater filled up. Cruise ships = Bingo enthusiasts. We bought 3 tickets and I was one of 5 or 6 people standing with 4 of 5 squares to win $500 - but alas two more numbers were read and neither were I-42 which would have put me over the top.
By this point, Alyssa had enough for the day, but it was nearly 10:30pm (7:30 for home). I darted over to look at a few things for our shore excursions and found myself playing Let It Ride poker (how did that happen?). Meanwhile, Jule and Alyssa read books and hit quiet time. I ended up one card shy of a straight flush (the 6 or Jack of clubs would have done it, I had 7 - 10 of clubs) and about $2800 for my initial bet. Oh well. Instead I donated more money to the Carnival Cruise fund.
So our first day out came to a close. Jule and I mellowed in the room learning how to use the wireless to post the previous messages while Alyssa sawed logs in the room next door. As we both decided to turn in, the rock of the ship was becoming more and more noticeable. A quick look at the GPS channel on the TV to show us where we were, etc indicated that sustained winds were starting to top 25 mph. By the time I tried to fall asleep, the rocking was picking up even more. How would this night go?…