25 steps to driving me nuts in Ireland
We've made it home from our long, fun, memorable journey.
Dublin was of course our last stop and I'd say our day was enjoyable overall. The entire clan took a morning tour to see Malahide Castle just north of Dublin and then a swing through the seaside town of Howth (which really just amounted to a 20 minute stop so we could buy fish and chips to go from a restaurant - not a bad arrangement for them).
The tour was interesting if for no other reason than we got to ride atop an open roof double decker bus and could really see the surrounding area of Dublin quite well. The drive took us past a few historical interests as well as cultural ones. We drove right past Mount Temple school which is where the band U2 was formed in the 1970s. We saw historic churches, rolling countryside, seaside vistas, and an interesting island of silt formed over time from a harbor breakwater that was originally built by Captain William Blygh (he of Mutiny on the Bounty fame). The wall was built in the bay to prevent the bay from silting in as this was an ongoing issue. The wall did its job and an island was formed on the backside of the way as a result. It is now quite large and serves as a habitat for many aquatic birds, etc.
Malahide Castle was interesting, dating back to the 1100s and lived in by the same family spanning 800 years. Sadly the castle was turned over to the state following the passing of the last descendant in the 1970s - a sister inherited the castle and lands from her brother at that time, but lacked sufficient funds for the taxes and upkeep. So she donated the property and surrounding acreage to the government and moved to a family estate in Tasmania where she eventually died in 2009. So it is kind of weird - you learn about this long, storied history of the Talbot family who took ownership of this land in the 1100s as a gift from King Henry II of England, survived hundreds of years of wars, monarchies, British or Irish Rule, plagues, religious reformation and executions, etc and in the end it was taxes that did in the family. Death and taxes - two certainties of life.
When we arrived back in Dublin, the girls split off taking advantage of the Hop on/off bus tickets we all had and went to the zoo. My folks and I ventured into the sights of Ireland - shopping of course took priority. So off we went to find Irish souvenirs. I managed to sneak in a stop at St. Patrick's Cathedral - built upon the site where St. Patrick himself reportedly began converting Irish to Catholicism in the 5th century. The cathedral itself is of Gothic architecture and bears resemblance to many of Englands more notable cathedrals. It was much smaller than I figured, but then again Dublin itself is not a large city by any means. Still the church was interesting and featured some amazing stain glass work.
We got back on the bus and saw a few notable sights - mostly having to do with drinking or revolting or both. The Guinness storehouse and brewery were featured prominently on the route - the Guinness property is hard to miss while driving around Dublin - it takes up a good amount of the western portion of the central city. We also drove past the Jameson distillery which is not as large as the Guinness property, but impressive enough. In between the two are dozens and dozens and dozens of bars. The Irish love to drink.
So it was a fun day - a good way to see the city and its highlights since we only had the one day. I could see myself going back to Ireland and Dublin. The people were certainly friendly and chatty and they have a lot of pride in their heritage. You hear them talk about Dublin or Ireland and its like one big county here in California - where all know all and if they don't, they soon will.
The next morning brought an early flight home - a repeat of the route we took to get to Europe but in reverse of course. Dublin to Charlotte, NC to San Francisco.
The process of leaving Dublin left something to be desired. When we arrived all were smiles and cheery and welcome to our lands and where are headed (standard immigration questions). Leaving was a far different story. Here is a rundown of all we accomplished in the 2 1/2 hours between arriving at the airport and boarding our plane.
1) arrive at 7am
2) walk 10 feet to the US Air/American desks - am greeted in line by a gentleman who would like to ask a few simple questions before we check in...including have we checked in online, and wanting to see our passports. He also asks general questions about the contents of our luggage.
3) walk 10 feet - another gentlemen offers to help us through the self serve kiosks to check in, although we have checked in online. The kiosks generally fail so we proceed to the desk for check in
4) walk 10 feet to the desk for normal check in. Produce passports, boarding passes, answer questions about luggage, destination, where we came from, how long we've been there, etc. We check our luggage at this point.
5) its has been 25 minutes so we must all use the bathroom
6) done shitting, we all walk 25 feet and go upstairs to security
7) BUT FIRST - Immigration form fill out station
8) walk 10 feet past the immigration form fill out station and a lady asks us questions about or visit, where we've been, the contents of our luggage, how long was our stay, checks passports, smiles a lot, and instructs us to proceed.
9) Bathroom time - its been 25 minutes
10) done shitting - we all walk 10 feet and go through security - but as we do please show passports and boarding passes
11) we survive security and of course since it has been roughly 25 minutes, you know what that means....
12) bathroom time - because it has been 25 minutes
13) done shitting - the group decides (not me) that we should all stop and eat because we are not yet at our gate and we have a lot of signs overhead telling us that we are headed towards "U.S. Pre-Immigration" and that doesn't sound like it will take long at all.
14) we stop and eat. (not me)
15) we head to U.S. Pre-Immigration - essentially at Dublin you can do all the US Customs there, so when you arrive in Charlotte, you're good to go. I think they do this because they realize that no one actually cares to stay in Charlotte and all are just using the airport as a jumping off point for other more interesting locations.
16) before we get to US Pre-Immigration, we get to go through.. yes, security. This time US Security, not Irish Security. Irish Security is basically your carry-on bag going through an x-ray while they make sure you aren't stealing potatoes or four leaf clovers. US Security is of course a full cavity search.
17) mind you we've walked 10 feet so we must show passports and boarding passes, discuss our vacation, reveal the color of our underwear, talk about our luggage, and ensure that we have NEVER let our bags out of our sight even though we have not seen them since we checked them in at the check in desk a good hour or more ago.
18) fresh off our anal cleansing thanks to security, we walk 10 feet and are greeted by a lady who has an Irish accent but is wearing a homeland security uniform. She is standing in front of a sign which tells all US Nationals to proceed to the right while non-US citizens proceed to the left. She instructs my parents to go to the right and tells us to go to the left with all the non US citizens because we have kids. Apparently US Citizens are not allowed to have kids per Homeland Security. This is of course questioned by Jule and I and she assures us she is doing the correct thing. We point at the sign, discuss America, do figure eights with arms extended in a confused, annoyed posture... and then go stand in line with all the Non US people.
19) My parents proceed 10 feet to self serve kiosks which stonewalls them completely. These things are giant smart phones. My parents are looking for the dial.
20) a taller, more confident lady who has no Irish accent yet is wearing a homeland security uniform including a blazer with shiny gold pins on it approach us and tell us we should be in the other line. We try to explain....ah never mind, off we go to the self serve USA kiosks where my parents are now clapping at to try to turn the thing on.
21) the kiosks scan your passport (haven't shown those in at least 30 feet, so we are overdue) and then has each member of your family take a selfie. You also answer the same questions that you have answered on the Immigration form which is still in your hands. But this one is on a giant smart phone so it must be fun and cool. The kiosk spits out a boarding pass with your selfie photo on it. You're now holding your passport (which does still include a photo these days), your boarding pass, your immigration form, and now your US Customs selfie kiosk printout.
22) We walk 10 feet and spend time visiting with an immigration officer/homeland security officer. He takes our passports and hmmmms a lot. He also takes the immigration form we filled out, doesnt look at it one bit and tosses it into a pile of immigration forms and then asks us questions about where we were, how long, where we stayed, what was in our luggage, did we have $10,000 (or more), did we purchase over $800 in goodies, the nature of our visit, etc. He then compares the US Customs Selfie photo to our passport photos and then has us look at the screen where we get to see pictures of our luggage from when we checked in the bags. Are those ours? Have they been out of our sight? You mean since we...
23) We are told to enjoy our flight.
24) as we are now headed to the gate, we are told the flight is already boarding so we need to rush. Its been 2 hours and 15 minutes since we arrived at the airport. I've shown my passport at least 5 times. I've answered questions about my trip, my luggage, and my shoe size at least 5 times. I've had two trips though security xrays. I've been disowned and then repatriated by the US Customs people. I took a selfie. We've visited almost every bathroom in the Dublin airport. And now I have to rush onto the plane. But first....
25) I must show my boarding pass and passport to get on the plane.
Ho-lee-schnickies - is that an absurd process or what?
Its been 11 years since I traveled to Europe and we went in and out through Rome so I don't have much to compare with. But I will say this, if we screened all people coming into the US like we do in Dublin airport, we may still have terrorists arrive, but they'd have very clean buttholes thanks to the repeated cavity searches and we'd have driven them (more) insane with the line of questions. Plus we'd have selfies of all of them which is good for the news reports.
I'm still astonished at the process. I am not joking, there was at least twice where we presented passports, boarding passes, etc and then walked to the next station which was within easy eyesight of the previous station and had to do it all over again. We would leave one security check, walk down a doorless, windowless hallway with no vendors or otherwise and get checked again. But it provides jobs, in Ireland.
The flight was long - I had a guy who looked like Kosmo Kramer sitting in front of me and of course he leaned his chair all the way back and was generally annoying. But I did get to watch 2 free movies (Selma and Foxcatcher). Our layover in Charlotte was extended by 45 minutes because US Air lacked sufficient flight attendants and they overloaded our plane with mail, so they had to dump the mail that they were carrying to balance the weight limitations. Still we arrived in SFO on time - which they said was because we rode a jetstream or something - I just think the pilot had A's tickets and he cranked it up to just below Mach so we could land on time.
Bags were gathered, parking shuttle was hailed, we retrieved our vehicle, loaded our bags and drove to Sacramento...arriving around 1030pm. A day which began at 6am Thursday in Dublin (which is 10pm Pacific time) ended at 11pm Thursday in Lincoln. 25 hours in total. There is no real way around it all...especially in Dublin because they stop to talk to you every 10 feet.
I have a few more thoughts on the trip and will try to post those soon. Hopefully some amusing insights to traveling to Europe in 2015.
And photos..yes photos will be coming. Internet speeds in Europe were not very conducive to loading photos. More will come soon.
Dublin was of course our last stop and I'd say our day was enjoyable overall. The entire clan took a morning tour to see Malahide Castle just north of Dublin and then a swing through the seaside town of Howth (which really just amounted to a 20 minute stop so we could buy fish and chips to go from a restaurant - not a bad arrangement for them).
The tour was interesting if for no other reason than we got to ride atop an open roof double decker bus and could really see the surrounding area of Dublin quite well. The drive took us past a few historical interests as well as cultural ones. We drove right past Mount Temple school which is where the band U2 was formed in the 1970s. We saw historic churches, rolling countryside, seaside vistas, and an interesting island of silt formed over time from a harbor breakwater that was originally built by Captain William Blygh (he of Mutiny on the Bounty fame). The wall was built in the bay to prevent the bay from silting in as this was an ongoing issue. The wall did its job and an island was formed on the backside of the way as a result. It is now quite large and serves as a habitat for many aquatic birds, etc.
Malahide Castle was interesting, dating back to the 1100s and lived in by the same family spanning 800 years. Sadly the castle was turned over to the state following the passing of the last descendant in the 1970s - a sister inherited the castle and lands from her brother at that time, but lacked sufficient funds for the taxes and upkeep. So she donated the property and surrounding acreage to the government and moved to a family estate in Tasmania where she eventually died in 2009. So it is kind of weird - you learn about this long, storied history of the Talbot family who took ownership of this land in the 1100s as a gift from King Henry II of England, survived hundreds of years of wars, monarchies, British or Irish Rule, plagues, religious reformation and executions, etc and in the end it was taxes that did in the family. Death and taxes - two certainties of life.
When we arrived back in Dublin, the girls split off taking advantage of the Hop on/off bus tickets we all had and went to the zoo. My folks and I ventured into the sights of Ireland - shopping of course took priority. So off we went to find Irish souvenirs. I managed to sneak in a stop at St. Patrick's Cathedral - built upon the site where St. Patrick himself reportedly began converting Irish to Catholicism in the 5th century. The cathedral itself is of Gothic architecture and bears resemblance to many of Englands more notable cathedrals. It was much smaller than I figured, but then again Dublin itself is not a large city by any means. Still the church was interesting and featured some amazing stain glass work.
We got back on the bus and saw a few notable sights - mostly having to do with drinking or revolting or both. The Guinness storehouse and brewery were featured prominently on the route - the Guinness property is hard to miss while driving around Dublin - it takes up a good amount of the western portion of the central city. We also drove past the Jameson distillery which is not as large as the Guinness property, but impressive enough. In between the two are dozens and dozens and dozens of bars. The Irish love to drink.
So it was a fun day - a good way to see the city and its highlights since we only had the one day. I could see myself going back to Ireland and Dublin. The people were certainly friendly and chatty and they have a lot of pride in their heritage. You hear them talk about Dublin or Ireland and its like one big county here in California - where all know all and if they don't, they soon will.
The next morning brought an early flight home - a repeat of the route we took to get to Europe but in reverse of course. Dublin to Charlotte, NC to San Francisco.
The process of leaving Dublin left something to be desired. When we arrived all were smiles and cheery and welcome to our lands and where are headed (standard immigration questions). Leaving was a far different story. Here is a rundown of all we accomplished in the 2 1/2 hours between arriving at the airport and boarding our plane.
1) arrive at 7am
2) walk 10 feet to the US Air/American desks - am greeted in line by a gentleman who would like to ask a few simple questions before we check in...including have we checked in online, and wanting to see our passports. He also asks general questions about the contents of our luggage.
3) walk 10 feet - another gentlemen offers to help us through the self serve kiosks to check in, although we have checked in online. The kiosks generally fail so we proceed to the desk for check in
4) walk 10 feet to the desk for normal check in. Produce passports, boarding passes, answer questions about luggage, destination, where we came from, how long we've been there, etc. We check our luggage at this point.
5) its has been 25 minutes so we must all use the bathroom
6) done shitting, we all walk 25 feet and go upstairs to security
7) BUT FIRST - Immigration form fill out station
8) walk 10 feet past the immigration form fill out station and a lady asks us questions about or visit, where we've been, the contents of our luggage, how long was our stay, checks passports, smiles a lot, and instructs us to proceed.
9) Bathroom time - its been 25 minutes
10) done shitting - we all walk 10 feet and go through security - but as we do please show passports and boarding passes
11) we survive security and of course since it has been roughly 25 minutes, you know what that means....
12) bathroom time - because it has been 25 minutes
13) done shitting - the group decides (not me) that we should all stop and eat because we are not yet at our gate and we have a lot of signs overhead telling us that we are headed towards "U.S. Pre-Immigration" and that doesn't sound like it will take long at all.
14) we stop and eat. (not me)
15) we head to U.S. Pre-Immigration - essentially at Dublin you can do all the US Customs there, so when you arrive in Charlotte, you're good to go. I think they do this because they realize that no one actually cares to stay in Charlotte and all are just using the airport as a jumping off point for other more interesting locations.
16) before we get to US Pre-Immigration, we get to go through.. yes, security. This time US Security, not Irish Security. Irish Security is basically your carry-on bag going through an x-ray while they make sure you aren't stealing potatoes or four leaf clovers. US Security is of course a full cavity search.
17) mind you we've walked 10 feet so we must show passports and boarding passes, discuss our vacation, reveal the color of our underwear, talk about our luggage, and ensure that we have NEVER let our bags out of our sight even though we have not seen them since we checked them in at the check in desk a good hour or more ago.
18) fresh off our anal cleansing thanks to security, we walk 10 feet and are greeted by a lady who has an Irish accent but is wearing a homeland security uniform. She is standing in front of a sign which tells all US Nationals to proceed to the right while non-US citizens proceed to the left. She instructs my parents to go to the right and tells us to go to the left with all the non US citizens because we have kids. Apparently US Citizens are not allowed to have kids per Homeland Security. This is of course questioned by Jule and I and she assures us she is doing the correct thing. We point at the sign, discuss America, do figure eights with arms extended in a confused, annoyed posture... and then go stand in line with all the Non US people.
19) My parents proceed 10 feet to self serve kiosks which stonewalls them completely. These things are giant smart phones. My parents are looking for the dial.
20) a taller, more confident lady who has no Irish accent yet is wearing a homeland security uniform including a blazer with shiny gold pins on it approach us and tell us we should be in the other line. We try to explain....ah never mind, off we go to the self serve USA kiosks where my parents are now clapping at to try to turn the thing on.
21) the kiosks scan your passport (haven't shown those in at least 30 feet, so we are overdue) and then has each member of your family take a selfie. You also answer the same questions that you have answered on the Immigration form which is still in your hands. But this one is on a giant smart phone so it must be fun and cool. The kiosk spits out a boarding pass with your selfie photo on it. You're now holding your passport (which does still include a photo these days), your boarding pass, your immigration form, and now your US Customs selfie kiosk printout.
22) We walk 10 feet and spend time visiting with an immigration officer/homeland security officer. He takes our passports and hmmmms a lot. He also takes the immigration form we filled out, doesnt look at it one bit and tosses it into a pile of immigration forms and then asks us questions about where we were, how long, where we stayed, what was in our luggage, did we have $10,000 (or more), did we purchase over $800 in goodies, the nature of our visit, etc. He then compares the US Customs Selfie photo to our passport photos and then has us look at the screen where we get to see pictures of our luggage from when we checked in the bags. Are those ours? Have they been out of our sight? You mean since we...
23) We are told to enjoy our flight.
24) as we are now headed to the gate, we are told the flight is already boarding so we need to rush. Its been 2 hours and 15 minutes since we arrived at the airport. I've shown my passport at least 5 times. I've answered questions about my trip, my luggage, and my shoe size at least 5 times. I've had two trips though security xrays. I've been disowned and then repatriated by the US Customs people. I took a selfie. We've visited almost every bathroom in the Dublin airport. And now I have to rush onto the plane. But first....
25) I must show my boarding pass and passport to get on the plane.
Ho-lee-schnickies - is that an absurd process or what?
Its been 11 years since I traveled to Europe and we went in and out through Rome so I don't have much to compare with. But I will say this, if we screened all people coming into the US like we do in Dublin airport, we may still have terrorists arrive, but they'd have very clean buttholes thanks to the repeated cavity searches and we'd have driven them (more) insane with the line of questions. Plus we'd have selfies of all of them which is good for the news reports.
I'm still astonished at the process. I am not joking, there was at least twice where we presented passports, boarding passes, etc and then walked to the next station which was within easy eyesight of the previous station and had to do it all over again. We would leave one security check, walk down a doorless, windowless hallway with no vendors or otherwise and get checked again. But it provides jobs, in Ireland.
The flight was long - I had a guy who looked like Kosmo Kramer sitting in front of me and of course he leaned his chair all the way back and was generally annoying. But I did get to watch 2 free movies (Selma and Foxcatcher). Our layover in Charlotte was extended by 45 minutes because US Air lacked sufficient flight attendants and they overloaded our plane with mail, so they had to dump the mail that they were carrying to balance the weight limitations. Still we arrived in SFO on time - which they said was because we rode a jetstream or something - I just think the pilot had A's tickets and he cranked it up to just below Mach so we could land on time.
Bags were gathered, parking shuttle was hailed, we retrieved our vehicle, loaded our bags and drove to Sacramento...arriving around 1030pm. A day which began at 6am Thursday in Dublin (which is 10pm Pacific time) ended at 11pm Thursday in Lincoln. 25 hours in total. There is no real way around it all...especially in Dublin because they stop to talk to you every 10 feet.
I have a few more thoughts on the trip and will try to post those soon. Hopefully some amusing insights to traveling to Europe in 2015.
And photos..yes photos will be coming. Internet speeds in Europe were not very conducive to loading photos. More will come soon.
Comments
Post a Comment