The life of a rooster

Flippin it in Costa Maya

I'm not really sure how to describe Costa Maya -because it is really something that is non existent in many regards. I don't know where the people who work there come from, but essentially Costa Maya seems to be one of those old Hollywood facades. If you look at it from the front, it appears to be a small bustling port - but poke beyond the front door and it is nothing but endless jungle with small roads leading inland or north or south along the coast.

Seriously, Costa Maya is a cruise industry version of an old west city. Nothing more than a stretch of sand about 100 miles or so south of Cancun along the Gulf of Mexico coast on the Yucatan Peninsula - Costa Maya consists of a modern cruise ship dock that extends nearly a mile out into the sea (Mexicans seem to build mile long docks really well). Once you are on shore, you have arrived at a shopping complex and bus depot - no more. No houses, no streets to speak of, no hotels, no infrastructure other than the shopping area and loads of buses ready to take you on your excursions. So it simple - you either go somewhere on an excursion, stay on the ship, or walk around an outdoor bazaar of shops - loaded of course the with mandatory Diamonds/Tanzinite International, Del Sol, and (Enter Catchy Name of Lizard, Frog, Toad, Iguana, Hermaphrodite that is Wet, Dry, Skinny, Red, Horny, Two-Eyed, etc etc) bar.

Costa Maya's shopping area has built-in nicer shops surrounding a flea market like atmosphere and a rather large bar complete with free form style swimming pool and fake beach for tourists to just relax, get wet, and drink lots of items with alcohol. The pristine location along the Gulf Coast includes sparkling blue waters clear enough to see dozens of feet down to a small reef undoubtedly laden with tropical fish life. From the upper decks of the mighty Carnival Legend perched 9 stories above the water, one can see well over the shopping plaza and into the endless miles of jungle spreading inland and up and down the coast. 5 feet into this jungle and you would be lost or quickly the morning snack of a crocodile or mosquito - and likely in the opposite order.

One can sense immediately that a million eyes are set upon you within the jungle belonging to bugs, monkeys, iguanas, panthers, jaguars, crocodiles, and many other animals or insects. As I said, one glance beyond the facade and the reality of the pseudo-port is exposed.

A suggested by the surrounding environment - today we were all in for some fun adventures. Jule and Alyssa and new found friends the Oregels were off on a Jungle Beach break. I had signed up for what was a life long desire - swim with a dolphin! The best part was that the end of my tour wound up at the same beach (Uvero Beach) that the gang would be enjoying.

Both of our tours left at 8:30am, and without us knowing ahead of time, our individual buses took us to the exact same location roughly 20 miles up the coast and through 19 miles of jungle. Jule said that she saw monkeys in the trees as each turn onto a new road meant a new road narrower and less paved than the previous one. The quiet, air conditioned rocking bus had me dozing off and enjoying the 20 minutes of solitude and quietness.

I believe I arrived at Uvero Beach first along with 6 other folks ready to meet dolphins. Amongst my group were two couples - one older and loud and one younger and quietly anticipating the upcoming events like I was. The other two people on the excursion was a middle aged lady and young Erika - who was in her first week as a crew member of the Carnival Legend. Erika was from Hungary and we briefly chatted about the beauty of her home - Budapest - a city more recently discovered by tourists after being kept in the shadow of the iron curtain for the better part of 50 years. Erika assured me that one visit to Budapest would have me captivated. She, however, was eager to someday see San Francisco and Disneyland. As a new crew member hired into the excursions desk and pursers desk area, Erika was allowed to spend some time during her first few sailings taking part in many different excursions of her choice (on the company dime) so she could then recommend them to passengers and better answer questions. This little ship insider proved to be a bonus for the rest of us since the company, Dolphinus, was on its absolute best to ensure that Erika, and the rest of us, had a great time. I will say at this point, I don't think Dolphinus had to do much different then their normal professionalized approach as this was one of THE best excursions that I have experienced.

So we were brought over to a mosquitoes nest prep. area where we were issued lockers and exchanged one ticket and bracelet for another ticket and bracelet. They gave us 20 minutes to change and get ready, which proved to be 20 minutes of swatting mosquitoes and wondering when we could reach the sanctuary of water to avoid being eaten alive. At the stroke of 20 minutes, they exchanged our 3rd ticket for a fourth and a life vest and asked us to sit in a small area and watch a legally required video (the lawyers have reached Mexico - believe it or not). We then signed our life away should the dolphins kill us, launch us, make love to us, or what not. At that, we hopped up, walked out to a long pier and reached several pens that were roughly a half mile out from the beach area. As we walked out to the dolphin pens, I noticed Jule, Alyssa, and the Oregel family setting up shop on the beach - which was great since I now knew where to meet them after my encounter.

The experience was more than I had hoped for. We walked down a metal staircase into the water and onto a submerged metal platform that left a lot to be desired for feet comfort. The water was about waist deep and we were joined in the pen by a dolphin trainer and two dolphins whose names I now forget. Oh, there were also hundreds of hand sized tropical fish awaiting left over dolphin food to snack on. Occasionally they got too close and tickled my legs with their inquisitive nibbles. Hey, at this point the mosquitoes were gone and we were having a blast.

The tour had only promised 20 minutes time with the dolphins, but our trainer spend that time alone introducing the dolphins to us one by one systematically walking us through the dolphin anatomy and having us pet and feel the various fins, showing us the blow hole and ears, etc etc. It truly was a great learning experience and the dolphins were so patient and sweet. They then had us each do a few small maneuvers to have us hug the dolphin, have the dolphin kiss us on the cheek, and then dance with us, each offering a photo opportunity that Miguel was ready to snap for us and sell to us at $20/photo. We were not allowed to bring any cameras of any type with us. Fine, make a buck.. it didn't bother me at all. After this lengthy and well done introductions with the dolphins, the trainer had the dolphins demonstrate some simple behavior and put on a quick jumping show for us - the type you would see at Marine World or Sea World. The difference was that you were in the water with them and each jump was about 5 feet away from you. These dolphins jump about 15 feet out of the water without any effort. This was a bit intimidating to be honest, but I enjoyed every moment of it.

At this point they invited us to step off the platform and free float around the pen staying two arms length away from each other. Then the dolphins were set loose to swim amongst us. This was amazing. Each dolphin was swim up to you and spend a few seconds getting rubbed and some attention and then they would gracefully swim on to the next person. They are so quiet yet each dolphin was about 8 feet in length - truly sizable animals to be swimming around with. They'd pass by you, under you, to the side of you. One of them bumped their rear fin against my shin and it felt like being kicked in a soccer match. They allowed us a good 20 minutes of this free float and then called us back to the platform for the final little bit of our excursion. This is were we got to do some simple hand gestures to make the dolphins do some behaviors like a jump, wave good-bye with their tails, sing, etc. Then we each were handed a dead fish to feed them and walked up the stairs and out of the water. The experience was done. Something I will never forget and would gladly do again and again

Upon finishing my dolphin swim, I walked over to the beach area and joined Jule, Alyssa, Marcelino, Mada, and Sophia swimming in the ocean. Once again we had booked a trip to a very nice beach protected this time by a natural reef allowing for easy tide-free swimming. Once again, the water clarity near the beach was not great, but it was substantially better than at Belize and there were actual fish to see. Not much, but there were fish.

This beach destination allowed for free use of non-motorized watercraft, an open bar, plenty of beach area to swim and relax, and a restaurant and shop area. We all swam and relaxed for a few hours. Jule and Mada checked out a paddle boat and cruised out near the dolphin pens. Then Jule switched with Marcelino and Sophia and they paddled out to see the dolphins. I swam and played with Alyssa in the shallow water and tried to find some fish to show her - but she was more interested in her beach ball or the sand.

After a little while, I departed to ensure that I had time to experience that shopping mayhem waiting me back at the port (I'm my mother's son, have that shopping gene!). So I left about an hour prior than the rest of the gang and made it back to the ship to shower and have lunch. By now the sun had broken through the clouds and the temperature was starting to rise rapidly.

An interesting thing happened during lunch - I had been gazing out of the window into the crystal blue waters alongside the ship and had noticed what appeared to be a stick floating in the water. Suddenly a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder and politely asked me to solve a debate between he and his wife. "Is that a fish or a stick? I think it is a stick!"

As I started to say that I also thought it was a stick, the stick wiggled and swam away. Clearly, this was a fish. Most likely, based on its size and shape, it was a barracuda. Just as we collectively solved this puzzle, the guy says to me "I'm surprised we don't see sharks swimming around here"

As if on command, I immediately saw a large fish swimming in a circular pattern as if on the hunt. This fish was easily 6 feet long and cruising much like you would expect a shark. I pointed it out to my two aquarium enthusiast friends and they also agreed that it was a shark. The next clue was the clear excitement of the people walking along the pier looking down into the water and pointing. By the time I finished lunch, I saw two more sharks patrolling the same area. Dolphins, sharks, now what??

I made it onto shore in time for about 2 hours of shopping. I had wanted to seek out the Carpet Emporium which was offering authentic Turkish and Persian rugs at highly discounted prices and free shipping to the USA. So I made my way through the crowd like a slalom skier and sought out the Carpet Emporium. This store had beautiful rugs and knowledgeable salesmen - a stark contrast to the circus atmosphere of the bazaar just feet away and the mayhem of the desperate shop owners trying to push fish bone Jesus statues, "authentic" Maya calendars, clay figurines of wiry people in more sexual positions than Prince claims to know in a one night stand, and gobs of Mexican blankets, sombreros, "Cuban" cigars, and "a pair of red maracas".

I chose to look at a small variety of runner style carpets intending to find something for our entry way. The salesman was keen with decor styles and listened to what would work in our home and gave me a few options. They were all beautiful and would have added a lot of style to our home, except I was not ready to pony up $1200 for a rug. A couple came into the store and admired the same rugs I was considering. According to them, the price was fair, but they did not buy either. I thanked the salesman for his time and went about my business, jumping into the shark-tank of the bazaar and ready to buy my own Jesus statue.

Well, okay, I avoided the Jesus statues, although the depictions of the last supper were amazing in quality and size for $20, but I couldn't fit one into my suitcase and I settled for a cheap Italy World Cup towel, a Christmas ornament, a new leather wallet and some colorful wooden flutes to entertain the kid, nephew, nieces and God children. Satisfied with my shopping experience, I returned to the sanctuary of the ship and air conditioning.

The Costa Maya experience came to a close with our sail away party on deck. The Carnival Valor, who had seemingly stalked us from day one sharing port space in Grand Cayman and Belize prior to this day, was parked a stone's throw to our starboard side. The Valor and its passengers had become like rivals. You see, every day we'd arrive at a port, there was the Valor, already parked and its guests already making their way into port. Yet every day, we'd leaver earlier than the Valor on our way to the next port. As if mocking us, sometime around 9pm, the Valor would pull even with us at sea, pass us, and by the next morning be waiting for us at the next port. Plain and simple, the Valor was starting to piss me off! So finally we had won the battle, arriving to Costa Maya and taking primo dock space. The Valor was parked opposite us along the dock all of maybe 200 feet away. On queue we left first, but not before a spirited and fun rally between the two ships.

Our cruise director came over the PA to encourage us up to the Lido deck and battle the Valor passengers in a sail away shout off. First was our turn and we cheered and jeered across the 200 feet separating our two ships lined up along the rail of the Lido deck facing our adversaries. Soon enough you could hear the "ding dong" indicating that the PA of the Valor had been queued and the guests of their proud stalking ship roared back. Ding Dong!!! Our PA blared with the enthusiastic voice of our cruise director Chris "C'mon folks, lets give it to them!!"

ROAR!!! By now, both ships were drawing a crowd to their exterior decks. Folks were out on balconies facing each other and jeering their hearts out. The war cry went back and forth - we chanted "LEGEND! LEGEND!".. they responded with "VALOR!! VALOR!!!" We countered with another chant, they responded in kind. It was fun, but it was also competitive! Finally their cruise director conceded saying that we have been louder, but their guests were more attractive. We celebrated an awkward victory by singing along to our PA system blaring "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS....!" The loud blare of our ship's horn meant we were on our way, off to sea winning the rally of the ships. Soon the familiar chant "Da na na na..na na na na....hey hey hey... good bye!!" took over as we rubbed our victory in the faces of the shocked Valor guests. So proud we were! We had won in the end despite being raced all over the Caribbean and beaten over and over again.

They passed us at 8pm this time.... d'oh!! Bitter losers.

(FYI - The Valor had a similar itinerary to ours but left from Miami and visited Roatan Island, Honduras instead of Cozumel).

So we had left our last port and our vacation suddenly seemed very close to ending. That night, as the Valor left us in their wake, a vigourous thunderstorm pounded the Yucatan Peninsula. We seemed to be safely dozens of miles offshore on our straight trek across the Caribbean Sea, thru the Yucatan Channel seperating Cancun from Cuba and into the Gulf Of Mexico and eventually Tampa Bay. However, I did notice from time to time the ship had to zig zag a few miles further out to to sea to avoid more the storm evolving to our west.

That night we had dinner as usual in our cramped hole in the main dining room. More trays accompanied Alyssa's high chair - that elusive booster chair yet to be seen. After dinner, we again joined up with the Oregel family enjoying some music, looking at some art, and getting to know our new friends even better. By now it seemed like old pals - Marcelino and Mada so easy and fun to talk to.

By now Alyssa had decided that Camp Carnival was indeed okay and she spent a few hours enjoying the company of other children and the Camp Carnival staff. The few hours of freedom passed too quickly and soon we scooped up Alyssa from the kids zone and all turned in for the night. Tomorrow was an open day at sea - so no land excurions to worry about. This meant sleeping in and a day of fun activities aboard the Legend - our floating home now cruising around 22 knots across the sea.